In the Giving Heart, M.J. Ryan offers this take on giving: whatever we do, we do for ourselves.

What exactly does this mean? Ryan uses a story of a farmer who always grew the sweetest and best corn in the county. At the end of every growing season, he would take his seed corn, and give away a lot of it to other farmers in the area. When asked why he didn’t want to keep the best corn for himself, the farmer answered that he was doing it for himself. Because his corn would be cross-pollinated by bees and wind from other fields, if they had inferior corn, his would soon be inferior too.

Ryan points out that this story illustrates how interconnected our world is. And when we take into consideration this interconnectedness among all of us, it follows that whatever we do for someone else, we are also doing for ourselves.

“When we truly understand this interdependence, we also understand that whatever we do, we do for ourselvse. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, ‘We may have all come on different ships, but we are all in the same boat now.’ And a mighty small boat it is.”

Whether or not we look at this “ripple effect” of doing from the context of giving or simply doing or taking action, it’s an interesting consideration - what are the potential ripples from your next intended action?

Ever wonder what you should be spending your money on? How about buying experiences, for the fun of them, rather than material things? Try this on for size:

“If you had some money and could buy either an item or an experience, which would you buy? Most people think the item would have greater lasting value because you could use it again and again, while the experience would be something that comes and goes. But experiences such as trips, events, and classes provide shared memories that can last a lifetime and have far greater impact over time than items you can purchase.”

Very interesting. The next time I have a choice between buying stuff, and buying an experience, I’m going to give fun a try.

Source: Simple Secrets for becoming Healthy, Wealthy & Wise.

A snafu: “situation normal, all f*cked up”.

A fubar: “f*cked up beyond all recognition.

Brilliant military terms for all those crises, big and little, that do occasionally pop into our lives.

Martha Beck has four tips on how to handle these bumps - big or little - in the road:

1. Go ahead and freak out.

Let yourself react physically to crisis situations. Apparently, people who react physically are better able to cope with a crisis, and less likely to be traumatized afterwards, then people who simply hold still.

2. Release your expectations.

Let go of your expectations, and don’t rush into action, or you might end up just making things worse. So take a deep breath, and remind yourself, “it’s okay.”

And if you have trouble doing that:

3. Narrow your time aperture.

Focus totally on the crisis at hand. Don’t let your mind wander into all those expectations that you find you just can’t release:

“Be here now, and you’ll realize there’s nowhere else you ever need to be.”

(Beck also relates a wonderful story a meditation teacher once told her, about how you might be obsessing about all of life’s little problems as you take a walk through the woods, but if you make a turn, and there’s a bear, it’s like magic - it’s quite easy then to surrender your worries as you run back to safety. It’s called attaining “one-pointed attention”.)

And finally …

4. Make Loosey-Goosey Plans

Stay flexible. In a crisis situation, the next step will arise almost automatically, and then the next one after that.

“A strategy that works well one moment is useless the next. That’s okay. Keep moving. Keep letting go of expectations. Keep your attention on the here and now, and keep adjusting. And finally, refuse to contemplate the distant future until the snafu is over.”

Beck has a great and quirky-style, and her advice always comes from a balanced and centered perspective. She doesn’t fail us here.

Source: Oprah Magazine, April 2007